Sunday, March 29, 2009

Was It You?

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY ARSYAD!
Sorry I didn't know much about you yet. But still, you are the man of the day! There will be me when you need someone to talk to, alright?

I am addicted to my own blog. I've been reading it for like more than 10 times per day, or even more. I've been trying to spot the good english that readers have been talking about. What so good about it? Really, I'm not even impressed of my own writings.

I am currently super bored right now. I'm not even at pondok or at baby's house cause I don't even want to see their faces. Irritates me. So I gave a stupid reason; my brother's home alone. Finally, peace is mine!

I've found another irritating friend! One by one, you're starting to get on my nerves. This one is not that irritating though, but still gets my day fucked up. This person kept changing his/her blog address. He/she has changed it for more than 10 times. Irritates me, seriously. Please lah, don't change your URL every now and then, don't follow your mood. For example, you're so happy cause for some reason and you felt there's a change for a URL. So you changed it to ilovemyass.bs.com. Then few days later, your boyfriend ditched you for some guy/girl and you felt like an ass. So you wanted to change you URL to ihatemyass.bs.com. Seriously, this irritates me. You have done this for alot of times. Last warning, one more time you changed it, don't even beg me to relink you.

To the first irritating one, you don't get it do you? What's so hard to just text me? What's so damn bloody hard? Your reason for the call was just to ask me to go pondok, not to slack down there but just to buy you something. God, you're irritating. Why me? Why?! Don't you have the brains? I'm staying at Jurong while the rest are just a couple of blocks away. Why do you want me to travel that far just to buy you that something? Where has you brains gone to? You're making me regret forgiving you, seriously.

Some might wonder why am I showing attitude lately. Thanks to baby, I know how to stand up for myself. I have been keeping to myself from being fucked up, I've been showing my good side too much. Get ready to endure hell!

Talents In The New Generations

I went down to Westcoast Plaza yesterday. There's this dance competition going on down there. They're searching for the best group in the West but still the East freaks came down too. The performance was cool and hip. A few groups made me closed my eyes as it was too painful to watch. I witness something new coming to Singapore.

The coolest dance so far in the island is Tecktronic or even shuffling still. As I watched a few groups dancing yesterday, something caught my eyes; Krumpin. Krumping is the most violent but coolest dance in other country especially in US. But its coming to Singapore now, slowly but surely. Not to say that I'm racist but I think Malays did it much more smoother and cooler than the Chinese. Overall, Malays are much more talented than the Chinese.

Moving on, I finally got the chance to watch television today. For such a long time, I didn't get to watch any tv shows. I've been going out and reached home damn late. This has to stop though. My schoolbooks aren't touched yet, my room is in such mess. Even if I can go out, I won't. Cause I hate cocked-up plans. What's the use of going out with a few peoples that is so lazy to travel anywhere? Plans are plans. They are not meant to be cancel out. I know this would happen again, so easy as said, I might not meet you guys anymore. Sorry, change your attitude before mine turns to hell.

F1 is surely getting tougher. New drivers, new cars. Brawn Mercedes are surely the fastest to adapt to the new Grand Prix. Both new cars were the first to qualify. That's a great start for them. So if you want to get easy money, bet on Jensen Button. But still I'm a Kimi Raikonen fan though.

Great, two girls fighting because of me. Just because I approve to be someone's abang angkat, baby's mad. What to do?!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Serious Matter.

Friends are like balloons. If you let them go, they never to return.

I have been wondering about this two lady friend of mine. Wondering if they were doing fine. We have not been talking on the phone, have not text each other and have not met for a long time. And I do certainly missed spending time with them. Hougang is the place where I really missed so much. The mall, the blocks, the playground. For Jurong West, I don't really missed it much cause I've always been passing by those places whenever I return home. But certainly I missed hang out with the people that I've been slacking long ago.

Both were currently attached but I'm fine with that. I've buried the past and I don't even think of digging it back up. And I don't have the intention to ruin their relationship. Why should I ruin their's when I have mine to care about? Stupid.

One of them had a boyfriend who is so damn protective over her. Wrote her name once and immediately she text me the next morning saying that I should not write her name again cause her boyfriend doesn't like it. I don't give a damn though. Its my blog, its my say.

I writing this cause I felt that I'm lossing my old friends. The old ones who have shown me happiness in the past. Because of the new friends I've been hanging around with, I felt that the relationship between me and my old friends are drifting apart. So close yet so far.

Talking about old friends, I missed a few peoples from GESS. The old batch has gone, but they do meet sometimes. The few that I missed is Rudi. Its a joke when people think that close friends are fighting because of a girl. Of course its normal to fight for a girl. But what has been said and done, you can't do anything about it. Baby choosed me, not him. And he can't get the fact that she's totally mine. He occasionally send text messages to baby but she won't reply him. I don't mind about it really. But why must our friendship be like this? Why over a girl and we're not even talking? I missed the old times.

My heart is always weak. I can easily breakdown into tears. Thinking about this can make my room flooded. I hate this feeling, I hate this part right here.

To you; If you hate me writing about your girlfriend on my blog, come holla at me. Is it wrong to write about a friend on a blog? This blog is to express my feelings and thoughts to the world. Its not as if I'm writing any bad stuff about her or the world, so its up to me to write stuff on this blog of mine.

I miss this two soooo much.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Happy Sweet 16!


Dear Noor Izham,

Happy sweet 16. You have finally grow one year! Now we can play pool together! Congratulations! Of all the friends I have, you'll always be needed by me. We have gone through ups and downs. The down moments was really down and I thought we will never be friends again. But well, past is past. You were there when I cried a few days ago, crying my heart out when I felt like a useless friend. Indeed I am busy now with my love one, but I will never push you or TKR away. Both TKR and Triplets, we are in it. Remember when we got drunk on the rooftop, we woke up with just the two of us? Sweet kan? HAHA. Tengok bintang sama-sama. Saturday, we'll do it together again, as a TKR family. From Vice-captain to the Captain, this cigarette I'm smoking, this is for you! Bestfriends forever.



With Love,
Danial.

Lack Of Punctuality

Punctuality is a noun from the word punctual. What is punctual? It is 'arriving or doing this at a point of time'. At a point of time does not mean its being late. Somebody has to teach kids what is punctuality.

I hate myself for being too kind or too nice to people. I finally realise how much pain it cost when nobody notice the good side of me. I've given the best, but all I get back is fucked up treatments. But when I tried to show the evil side of me, people just leave. Tell me how am I to be stern and make them realise?

I was suppose to meet my peeps at pondok before 7pm. But I took my own sweet time to reach there. The only reason I did that was to make them feel how it felt to be me when I was there alone waiting. I repeat, I was alone waiting. The waiting can carry on for more then an hour. Easy to say, theses people are selfish. So I thought to myself, why not I'll be selfish this time? Why not I take my own sweet time reaching? So I was at baby's house the whole day til about 6.30pm?

One of my friend. The most irritating one (if you know, raise your hands up high!). He kept on calling. I received a total of 5 missed calls from him. The reason why I did that, I was irritated. He'll call me and just asked for my whereabouts. 5 secs gone and the value inside my prepaid will be burnt due to him. Why can't these kind of people just text me for my whereabouts? Why must they call? Think about others please.

I reached pondok, and nobody was there. Not a single human being was there. I got to know they're at someone's house. Where's the patience that I have to endure when you were late? And the reason for you waiting was not because of me, its bacause of a bloody damn cigarettes. One middle finger points to you.

Who's next to be my victim? I wonder.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

25th Is Today

I didn't notice that today is 25th until I saw her personal message. '25th, *sad face*', something like that. I'm glad I had already move on than just waiting for rain to fall on a desert. Not that I am digging bacl the past, but recalling on what had happen makes me smile. How stupid I was back then. Such a cool story if I wrote it down here. Cheating on a girl who had loved me so much. It could be another Romeo and Juliet love story if I can say.

As life goes on, I hope readers will remember the mistakes that I've made. The pain that I've been feeling since she left saying she still loves her ex-boyfriend. Jerk? Bitch? Nah, its a test from God. He wants you to have these kind of experience before you're married to one.

Moving on. 25th has been dug up. Now I have to bury it back before I start thinking about it. Never will I made those kinds of mistakes ever again. I'm in love with one, ONLE ONE. Never will be two or more. Fuck you if you think you ruin this relationship.

Your love is like a river, peaceful indeed.
Your soul is like secret, that never could keep
When I look into your eyes, I know that its true.
I love Nur Zulfiqah!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Hero Lies Deep Within

She was a friend of mine, a bestfriend, a close friend, and definitely my ex-girlfriend. We have gone through alot. Ups and downs. We've been there for each other. Just a phone call away, and it felt like there's a shoulder to lean on when we're down. But today, I felt like shit. I wasn't there for her when she need me, when she needed a shoulder to cry on, my shirt to wipe the tears off her cheeks. I felt like a failure.

Met her in the morning. She talked to me about her bedridden grandfather who can't be helped by the educated doctors in Singapore. His life then turns to God's hands. I told her that I'll pray for him.

Everything when fine, as per normal, until after recess/break. I received a text message from her saying that grandfather just past away and his body is on the way back to Pioneer. She went there alone, crying her heart out. Yes, I know I was needed. So I called her in class. My eyes started to become watery as soon as she picked up the phone. I could feel the pain that is going through her heart. I told her to be strong when I too need to be strong.

I thought of witnessing the funeral while I stand close to her. What if Rudi was there witnessing the funeral too? I'm having a conflict with him because of baby. So I thought to myself, I don't want any trouble. And I have to back off before anything happens during the funeral. I send her a text message saying that I wanted to be there with her, but I can't. She replied, "Its okay. I understand. I don't want two of you fighting". So, I didn't go but I told her that I'll pray to God to have him safe 'up' there.

I went straight to baby's house. I was quiet all the way. I kept thinking, am I doing the right thing? Am I suppose to enjoy when my bestfriend is feeling down, misery? I know I was in the wrong. I kept it to myself. I lied to baby that I'm going home straight but I went to meet Izham at Clementi.

From Tiong Bahru to Dover, then to pondok's bus stop, tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I simply could not resist these tears. I guess the pipe is loose. Many people saw the tears. Saw Izham, sitting at the railing. He looked at me and started asking why tears were rolling down. I told him everything.

I send a text message to people that I'm close with. They told me that its too late to regret it. I have to regret what I had done. Because when I needed help, she was always there for me. But this time, she needed me but I wasn't there. I'm really disappointed with myself. I'm still crying for the fact that I was useless. Hopefully, she's fine with me by tomorrow.

From God we came, To God we return.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

For You Asses!

I didn't plan on going out today, even if baby forces me to meet her. I swear I planned not to step 100 metres out of Jurong West no matter what the cause is. I was seriously having a high fever which made me changed my mind on playing takraw at Clementi.

Put yourself in my shoes. You are already tired plus sick but still your friends are acting like a fly buzzing around you ears, telling you to play takraw at some place far from your house. The place is not as if its just one or two bustops away, but its few kilometres away. What would you do? And one of your friends calling you 'nonok' behind the telephone. What would you do? Tell me, what would you f*cking do?!

All I need was a simple rest for tomorrow's lesson. I did not plan on slacking at baby's house or whatsoever. I told her to come over instead and she did. What if I told you to play takraw over my place? I know what you'll guys do. Mourn. Yup, you guys will mourn as usual. You won't want to come over my place to play cause you guys are lazy. Simple as that, I am freaking lazy to play down there. And I have my own limits to going back home late. What? You expect me to go back home late every single day for you guys? If my house is just round the block, I seriously won't mind.

Sometimes I think you are selfish. All you want is your own happiness. What about him? What about me? I still remembered him being attached and you changed your attitude towards him cause he has a girl when you don't have one. I remember those words he complaint to me. Now its my turn? No sweat, bring it on. Turn your dark side on me.

If anyone here feels the same way that I'm feeling, raise your hands up high. Stop calling people names before you know what's fact and fiction. You don't know whats the feeling of being called 'nonok'. Its like betraying your own friends for a girl. If its true and if I really done that, you can call me that. I don't care either. But this has to stop, seriously. Its irritating.

I'm still a TKR no matter what.

Friday, March 20, 2009

You Make Me Better

Olla amigos! I know some of you are missing me badly, well I do miss you too! Some wondering where I've been missing lately. Some wondering how's my life been. Some might want to 'kaypoh' about my love life. That's why I'm back at blogging. I see happy faces or some might give that 'whatever' face (especially Nadia).

For 3 months that have been so damn lonely and misery, now I'm happy. At least I am happy for now. For that 3 months, I've been blaming myself for what I've done to my 3rd. The last one had just been a joke to me, treating me like one ass. But well, let bygones be bygones. Don't close the book, but open a new chapter.

Curious why am happy now? I'm finally someone's property. Finally someone loves me deeply. Eventhough some might say I won't last long with baby, all I can say is nothing but I can do something. That is point one good finger; the middle one. Straight to your face I can show you that. For once, just let me be happy. At least I'm happy now. I don't know about later, but I believe nothing's going to change between me and baby.

I love you. What you think of this words? Simple but makes you feel blessed with care and love. The way she express those words to me, I can never stop smiling. Never had I felt this feelings before. I love her the most.
---
Met baby's family after the NUS projectwork interview. Adik (name, same pronounsation but different spelling) was super cute lah! Irritating but cute! If I were to get that kind of kid in future, I have to prepare a maid. Too hot to handle! Mama and auntie were kind to me than I expected. Bought for us drinks from Trully's Coffee and made me rose syrup after that. How caring can they be? Hugged and kissed her before leaving for home. My love will never die this time.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

I Am Sleepy!

Its 5am in the morning and I can't get a goodnight sleep. Is it because of the 4-1 Liverpool win over Manchester United? Is it because of the coldness of the enviroment around (I tell you, its really freaking cold out here!)? Is it because of the irritating mosquitoes sucking my sweet blood? Or is it because of baby?

I've been thinking of her the whole day. Whenever I close my eyes shut, I can picture her infront of me murmuring the words 'I love you'. I can't imagine myself being with a girl who is 4 years younger than me. But I can't help it. I've fallen for her, fallen deeply into her lovely heart of hers. Eventhough lots might say that she's not the one, I don't give a damn about it. Cause I know I'm still young, I know that its not wrong to try this relationship. No matter how bad the situation has been, I'm still here loving for you. I love you bby and I know you love me too!

You should be wondering where I am right now. Some knows, some don't. I'm in school. I am attending NCC camp which still I am treating it as a chalet. I came, then go as I wished. What to do? I'm a goddamn SIR already.

Goddamn it, I can't take this any longer. My eyes are too heavy now. I have to get a rest before meeting bby later. Nights/morning people!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Guess Who's Back!

I AM SO SORRY!

I know I took so long to update this blog. I was too busy or too busy just to make myself busy (get it?). Lots of things happen this past few days. Some brought me up, some pulled me right back down to motherland and it hits me hard till I was too lazy to pull myself back up.

Imagine this. You loved someone so much that you dared to do anything for her. Basically everything. You risked everything; time, sleep, money, food. But your effort was not seen or appreciated by that loved one.

You found out something shocking early morning. Just as soon you entered the school, you heard the news about her being forced to be attached with a guy. How ridiculous can it be? But well, move on. That's what I did. And I'm happy now.

Went down to Plaza Singapura yesterday to support FFDC. They weren't that bad either. Fee was superb! No joke, her moves are smooth. I was impressed though. Well done FFDC! Done be sad cause you didn't make it through, there's still lots of time for improvement.

I got to meet Nadd but just for a short while. We didn't get to do what we wanted but well, there's still next time. I didn't get to meet that someone. I missed her badly. :(

I have to end it here. Sorry if its a short post. I promise you that next will be a long one. A story perhaps? I have got to finish up my chemistry project now. Bye readers!

Whenever you look me in the eyes, I can see my happiness. Whenever you smile, I melt like an ice-cream.