Life Would Be Different Without You, I Swear.

Who here thinks that I'm better without Erna right now? Hands up. I'm here trying to tell the truth. If you had put your hands up, well fuck you. Where was I these past few months? Who was I close to these past few months? Why was I close with that particular person/family?

For these few months, I've been close to Erna's family. Her grandmom, her aunts, uncles, mom, dad, brother and sister. Want to know why? Cause with her family, I felt being loved, I felt somebody cared. I feel the company. I had someone to talk to. I felt entertained. Jokes that her mom made, everyone down there was open, funny. The kids had real childhood, unlike me. I was made to study real hard due to competitions around me. And I'm sick of studying anymore. I need life. Yes, I know I have to study but not that hard.

I have to tell people the truth, especially Erna that now my life has changed, I can't live without her. Cause she's the only one who brings me happiness. And I don't want to find another cause I know I can't find another like her.

In these 3 months, I feel complete. Its just 3 months and we're this close. Thanks baby. Love you no matter what.

Its Our 3rd!

Happy 3rd monthsary to us! This is the longest relationship that I ever had and yet I didn't regret the decision to have you in my life. You showed me love, in every way that you can. You cared for me when none else did. You brought me back to life.

3 month for me is damn fast. To picture back the first day we met, was hilarious. We didn't even had that thought of getting together. But what I know, I had the feeling for you long time ago. I still remember the first day we contacted. I was only with Thosei. He asked me who my crush was, then you replied my text. I was happy as hell. Its like, kite ditakdirkan gitu. Haha.

I remembered saying I'm sucked at everything. But you changed me to someone better. I don't know how, but you did it. I'm much more confident then I felt before.

I never get the day to spend the 27th with her alone. Do the things that I've always wanted as a boyfriend/soulmate. I wished I could.

Its Gonna Be Hell, Trust Me

I'm still at shocked, scared and guilty by the fact that someone is angry at me. I'm like a small kid waiting for Dad to get beaten up. But I didn't know what I did wrong. What I know is, he's angry/pissed off with me. He's finding me. I'm not a coward, never am. But I've already labeled him as my big brother eventhough I'm older than him. I don't want to fight a brother, I don't want any misunderstanding with a brother, I don't want to have any problems with a brother. So I'm running away from him. I'm taking my life out of trouble.

Baby, no matter what happens, I'll still love you. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. I'll never leave you. If we were to be forced to go our separate ways, my heart will never leave you. Without you, my life is incomplete. If we were to be separated, I'll never have the shoulder to lean on. I'll never have the shirt to wipe my tears away. I'll never get to smell that armpit. I'll never get to live the life that we've planned. I'm just scared things will be different.

Then this will be the only memorable pics we took. I still love you!

What's The Look Down For?

Why is getting in to ITE so wrong? Why to people look down on ITE students/schools? Just because majority of the students are stubborn? So what if they are stubborn? They could be more smarter than you? Like me, I rather choose ITE than going to sec 5. Cause I know that I'm lazy to study but I know I'll be better if I learn new things. But I know that ITE is not the last resort for me to end my education. So stop your critics about ITE and stop being too proud over yourself being in express stream/polytechnic/university, cause it doesn't matter to me. Farktards.

I love everything that you do hunney! I love the way you shake that ass! You know, I know. Haha! You're the best and I'll never leave you. Few more days left.

Finally Bald

I took a long time thinking whether to get bald or not. I lost my long hair so long ago. I don't care about my hair cause I don't need to be hot. I know I am. Nyet! Haha. So people, I had cut my hair bald. I look like I'm doing my National Service. I look older, like abangabang.

Most of my friends didn't recognize me for a moment. Azhar and Thosei wanted to get bald too. Luckily for them, I brought down my shaver. So I shaved for them. Guess where we did it? In the public, at the void deck, outside Appy's house. Malu worr. The hardest hair to cut was Thosei's. So curly wurly. Like bulu jenggut. HAHA!

Well pictures below.

Shocked, Very

I was expecting my results to be very bad. 25 points or more. But end up to be 18 points for 4 subjects. I was super shocked. I didn't study and yet I got this good grades. What if I studied, could have gone sec 5. I have 1 ungraded subject which is Combine Humanities. English and Malay each have 4 points. Maths and Science each have 5 points. All that subject, I didn't even studied. I'm not disappointed but I'm proud, happy.

Baby followed me to school. I wanted her to come, meet my schoolmates and be there for me if I'm sad or whatever. Really thankful that she came cause I wouldn't know what to do if she's not there. Was stressed up for a moment before taking my results. I was told that I couldn't take my results due to school fees. I didn't know that I've not paid my school fees. How am I still gonna study if I have not been paying school fees. Damn.

I lost the paper/letter that shows what courses that I could take. Maybe I misplaced it or dropped it somewhere. I'm so careless. But lucky enough, Baby and me were smart that we had marked what courses that I could take in the booklet. Phew.

That's about it. I'm too lazy to update anyway but I got my ass up just for you readers. I'm gonna bath. Bye!

You Gave Me Strength

Is it fair? The way you were brought up by your parents is different. I didn't get freedom until I was sec 2. Parents giving me high hopes. I remember them setting my PSLE aggregate score too high that they know I could get. They want me to be better than one of my cousins, in fact, all of them. They don't want their face to fall, they only think about themselves.

Small brother has their love. Every mistake he did was just going to be lectures. I was given 240 target for my PSLE aggregate. But brother got less than 150. And he didn't get any scoldings. Great. That's fair to them?

Everything changes since 2005. Everything turns to hell. I'm felt lonely, nobody to talk to, every single mistake I made, I'll get fucked up. Until 27 sept 2009, I felt better. I felt love, strength.

If you read back my archives, I never lied. I was alone. I'm jealous friends having a good family. They have someone to talk to when they're home. But me? Every time when I'm home, I'll be do my own things in my room. I eat alone, unlike other family. So what's the point of going back home when I'm left alone in the room? If only I could stay with Baby's family, I'd be happy.

The Day That Can Never Be Forgotten

I went out to Malaysia with Baby's family. Shopping, bowling, farming, etc. Had lots of fun down there. Even watched New Moon at City Square. Slept during the middle part of the movie. Its not the movie that sucks, I know what would happen next cause I had read the book more then 10 times? Photos below.

Farming was the coolest thing ever. The turkey was super big. Size? Half of me. Imagine how big was that! The ducklings were the cutest thing. Following the mom everywhere she went. Pluck out chillies. Chopped off sugarcanes.

Bowling with her family was relaxing. The curling shots impressed them. Chey. Hahaha. Such a long time since I last played bowling.

Our enjoyable day was cut by a phone call. Rush back to Singapore as soon as possible and went straight to NUS. Saddest thing ever happen.

Our son. Nah, he's Baby's cousin. Cute kan? I know.