Lack Of Punctuality

Punctuality is a noun from the word punctual. What is punctual? It is 'arriving or doing this at a point of time'. At a point of time does not mean its being late. Somebody has to teach kids what is punctuality.

I hate myself for being too kind or too nice to people. I finally realise how much pain it cost when nobody notice the good side of me. I've given the best, but all I get back is fucked up treatments. But when I tried to show the evil side of me, people just leave. Tell me how am I to be stern and make them realise?

I was suppose to meet my peeps at pondok before 7pm. But I took my own sweet time to reach there. The only reason I did that was to make them feel how it felt to be me when I was there alone waiting. I repeat, I was alone waiting. The waiting can carry on for more then an hour. Easy to say, theses people are selfish. So I thought to myself, why not I'll be selfish this time? Why not I take my own sweet time reaching? So I was at baby's house the whole day til about 6.30pm?

One of my friend. The most irritating one (if you know, raise your hands up high!). He kept on calling. I received a total of 5 missed calls from him. The reason why I did that, I was irritated. He'll call me and just asked for my whereabouts. 5 secs gone and the value inside my prepaid will be burnt due to him. Why can't these kind of people just text me for my whereabouts? Why must they call? Think about others please.

I reached pondok, and nobody was there. Not a single human being was there. I got to know they're at someone's house. Where's the patience that I have to endure when you were late? And the reason for you waiting was not because of me, its bacause of a bloody damn cigarettes. One middle finger points to you.

Who's next to be my victim? I wonder.

25th Is Today

I didn't notice that today is 25th until I saw her personal message. '25th, *sad face*', something like that. I'm glad I had already move on than just waiting for rain to fall on a desert. Not that I am digging bacl the past, but recalling on what had happen makes me smile. How stupid I was back then. Such a cool story if I wrote it down here. Cheating on a girl who had loved me so much. It could be another Romeo and Juliet love story if I can say.

As life goes on, I hope readers will remember the mistakes that I've made. The pain that I've been feeling since she left saying she still loves her ex-boyfriend. Jerk? Bitch? Nah, its a test from God. He wants you to have these kind of experience before you're married to one.

Moving on. 25th has been dug up. Now I have to bury it back before I start thinking about it. Never will I made those kinds of mistakes ever again. I'm in love with one, ONLE ONE. Never will be two or more. Fuck you if you think you ruin this relationship.

Your love is like a river, peaceful indeed.
Your soul is like secret, that never could keep
When I look into your eyes, I know that its true.
I love Nur Zulfiqah!

A Hero Lies Deep Within

She was a friend of mine, a bestfriend, a close friend, and definitely my ex-girlfriend. We have gone through alot. Ups and downs. We've been there for each other. Just a phone call away, and it felt like there's a shoulder to lean on when we're down. But today, I felt like shit. I wasn't there for her when she need me, when she needed a shoulder to cry on, my shirt to wipe the tears off her cheeks. I felt like a failure.

Met her in the morning. She talked to me about her bedridden grandfather who can't be helped by the educated doctors in Singapore. His life then turns to God's hands. I told her that I'll pray for him.

Everything when fine, as per normal, until after recess/break. I received a text message from her saying that grandfather just past away and his body is on the way back to Pioneer. She went there alone, crying her heart out. Yes, I know I was needed. So I called her in class. My eyes started to become watery as soon as she picked up the phone. I could feel the pain that is going through her heart. I told her to be strong when I too need to be strong.

I thought of witnessing the funeral while I stand close to her. What if Rudi was there witnessing the funeral too? I'm having a conflict with him because of baby. So I thought to myself, I don't want any trouble. And I have to back off before anything happens during the funeral. I send her a text message saying that I wanted to be there with her, but I can't. She replied, "Its okay. I understand. I don't want two of you fighting". So, I didn't go but I told her that I'll pray to God to have him safe 'up' there.

I went straight to baby's house. I was quiet all the way. I kept thinking, am I doing the right thing? Am I suppose to enjoy when my bestfriend is feeling down, misery? I know I was in the wrong. I kept it to myself. I lied to baby that I'm going home straight but I went to meet Izham at Clementi.

From Tiong Bahru to Dover, then to pondok's bus stop, tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I simply could not resist these tears. I guess the pipe is loose. Many people saw the tears. Saw Izham, sitting at the railing. He looked at me and started asking why tears were rolling down. I told him everything.

I send a text message to people that I'm close with. They told me that its too late to regret it. I have to regret what I had done. Because when I needed help, she was always there for me. But this time, she needed me but I wasn't there. I'm really disappointed with myself. I'm still crying for the fact that I was useless. Hopefully, she's fine with me by tomorrow.

From God we came, To God we return.

For You Asses!

I didn't plan on going out today, even if baby forces me to meet her. I swear I planned not to step 100 metres out of Jurong West no matter what the cause is. I was seriously having a high fever which made me changed my mind on playing takraw at Clementi.

Put yourself in my shoes. You are already tired plus sick but still your friends are acting like a fly buzzing around you ears, telling you to play takraw at some place far from your house. The place is not as if its just one or two bustops away, but its few kilometres away. What would you do? And one of your friends calling you 'nonok' behind the telephone. What would you do? Tell me, what would you f*cking do?!

All I need was a simple rest for tomorrow's lesson. I did not plan on slacking at baby's house or whatsoever. I told her to come over instead and she did. What if I told you to play takraw over my place? I know what you'll guys do. Mourn. Yup, you guys will mourn as usual. You won't want to come over my place to play cause you guys are lazy. Simple as that, I am freaking lazy to play down there. And I have my own limits to going back home late. What? You expect me to go back home late every single day for you guys? If my house is just round the block, I seriously won't mind.

Sometimes I think you are selfish. All you want is your own happiness. What about him? What about me? I still remembered him being attached and you changed your attitude towards him cause he has a girl when you don't have one. I remember those words he complaint to me. Now its my turn? No sweat, bring it on. Turn your dark side on me.

If anyone here feels the same way that I'm feeling, raise your hands up high. Stop calling people names before you know what's fact and fiction. You don't know whats the feeling of being called 'nonok'. Its like betraying your own friends for a girl. If its true and if I really done that, you can call me that. I don't care either. But this has to stop, seriously. Its irritating.

I'm still a TKR no matter what.

You Make Me Better

Olla amigos! I know some of you are missing me badly, well I do miss you too! Some wondering where I've been missing lately. Some wondering how's my life been. Some might want to 'kaypoh' about my love life. That's why I'm back at blogging. I see happy faces or some might give that 'whatever' face (especially Nadia).

For 3 months that have been so damn lonely and misery, now I'm happy. At least I am happy for now. For that 3 months, I've been blaming myself for what I've done to my 3rd. The last one had just been a joke to me, treating me like one ass. But well, let bygones be bygones. Don't close the book, but open a new chapter.

Curious why am happy now? I'm finally someone's property. Finally someone loves me deeply. Eventhough some might say I won't last long with baby, all I can say is nothing but I can do something. That is point one good finger; the middle one. Straight to your face I can show you that. For once, just let me be happy. At least I'm happy now. I don't know about later, but I believe nothing's going to change between me and baby.

I love you. What you think of this words? Simple but makes you feel blessed with care and love. The way she express those words to me, I can never stop smiling. Never had I felt this feelings before. I love her the most.
---

Met baby's family after the NUS projectwork interview. Adik (name, same pronounsation but different spelling) was super cute lah! Irritating but cute! If I were to get that kind of kid in future, I have to prepare a maid. Too hot to handle! Mama and auntie were kind to me than I expected. Bought for us drinks from Trully's Coffee and made me rose syrup after that. How caring can they be? Hugged and kissed her before leaving for home. My love will never die this time.

I Am Sleepy!

Its 5am in the morning and I can't get a goodnight sleep. Is it because of the 4-1 Liverpool win over Manchester United? Is it because of the coldness of the enviroment around (I tell you, its really freaking cold out here!)? Is it because of the irritating mosquitoes sucking my sweet blood? Or is it because of baby?

I've been thinking of her the whole day. Whenever I close my eyes shut, I can picture her infront of me murmuring the words 'I love you'. I can't imagine myself being with a girl who is 4 years younger than me. But I can't help it. I've fallen for her, fallen deeply into her lovely heart of hers. Eventhough lots might say that she's not the one, I don't give a damn about it. Cause I know I'm still young, I know that its not wrong to try this relationship. No matter how bad the situation has been, I'm still here loving for you. I love you bby and I know you love me too!

You should be wondering where I am right now. Some knows, some don't. I'm in school. I am attending NCC camp which still I am treating it as a chalet. I came, then go as I wished. What to do? I'm a goddamn SIR already.

Goddamn it, I can't take this any longer. My eyes are too heavy now. I have to get a rest before meeting bby later. Nights/morning people!

Guess Who's Back!

I AM SO SORRY!

I know I took so long to update this blog. I was too busy or too busy just to make myself busy (get it?). Lots of things happen this past few days. Some brought me up, some pulled me right back down to motherland and it hits me hard till I was too lazy to pull myself back up.

Imagine this. You loved someone so much that you dared to do anything for her. Basically everything. You risked everything; time, sleep, money, food. But your effort was not seen or appreciated by that loved one.

You found out something shocking early morning. Just as soon you entered the school, you heard the news about her being forced to be attached with a guy. How ridiculous can it be? But well, move on. That's what I did. And I'm happy now.

Went down to Plaza Singapura yesterday to support FFDC. They weren't that bad either. Fee was superb! No joke, her moves are smooth. I was impressed though. Well done FFDC! Done be sad cause you didn't make it through, there's still lots of time for improvement.

I got to meet Nadd but just for a short while. We didn't get to do what we wanted but well, there's still next time. I didn't get to meet that someone. I missed her badly. :(

I have to end it here. Sorry if its a short post. I promise you that next will be a long one. A story perhaps? I have got to finish up my chemistry project now. Bye readers!

Whenever you look me in the eyes, I can see my happiness. Whenever you smile, I melt like an ice-cream.