I Want Only One Thing

I never fail smile when you're beside me. You made me moved on, officially. You made me forget about my past and start thinking about our future. Eventhough we always fought, you made me love you more. I swear I love you. Please make this last.

I made a promise to myself. When I'm back to love life, I'm going to make things last. I'll make sure it will last. That's the reason I've been careful lately. Yes, I've done wrong in the past. But, I've moved on. End that chapter and start a new one. I've buried _ pics, everything that is _ I've thrown them away.

Dee, I still love you as my bestfriend. Its up to you to carry on our 5 years of friendship. I'm not giving up on my love cause you once called me a 'player'. And that is why I'm not giving this up just because you feel bad contacting me, I'm making this last. Being attached, does not mean we can't contact anymore. Think about it alright. You inspire me to be the best, you showed what love is like. So I'm sorry if you want to leave. Your choice, your decisions.

If there are haters out there, say what you want to say. Sweet-talk-mother-f*cker? I don't care. Your bad comments is what I always needed to pull me up. I swear I'll make this last.

First It Boils, Now Its Off The Limit.

I'm already stressed up! Thank you people for making this happen. I didn't asked for trouble, but yet trouble came. Sounds like its time for me to shut a lot of people up. Before you even think of creating trouble down here, try creating trouble face to face. I'm sure that would be more easier to settle things out.

To HannaBintang;
Thank you for making me pissed off early morning. A very big thank you. You made me break my fast. I cried and cried on the way to school. Thanks for telling me I'm useless cause I can't move on. Yes, I'm useless. Good! I'm useless to be a friend of yours. I'm no more you babypartner, I ONLY want to be your cyberfriend. Nothing more. Nothing left to say, then shush!

And to Fatin Ahterawr;
If I could show a big middle finger to you and tell you to suck this finger of mine, I would. What's the problem with you, huh? Did I even say I want them to fight? Did I mention that I want her back? Fcuk no. And I said IF she would give me the chance, NOT please give me a chance. But I know I won't get it. Cause I'm not that pathetic to wait for a girl who is happy living her life. Please kindly understand the words that has been type out. Its in English, hello? And your vulgarities is seriously not needed. If you aren't happy with me, then meet. Sort things out face to face, not in tagboards. You said be in Ryan's situation? Be in my situation, fcuk! I am trying so hard to move on. Yet, did things change? No! Brains people brains! Mentangmentang, berkawan ngan dia, pikir kau jiwer dia sangat uh? Isap dalamdalam. Kawan lain semua mana? Buang kat mana pulak? You came for trouble, here it comes. You think I don't know where you're schooling at? I have friends there eh. Pikir dua kali. Tak dua, tiga eh. Thank you.

Memang Khilafku

I'm fcuked up right now. Too much going inside my mind. I know, its my fault. Or was it really my fault? What did I do? I could not understand why. Adakah ini takdir Allah?

Clock struck 12am. What's the date today? 09/09/09. It could be already a year if I'm still with you. I swear I miss you. I purposely made 09/09/08 to be our date. Now, its just me standing facing a world alone. Every part of geylang is a memory of us. We break fast under the tree eating Ramli Burger. I swear I do miss those times. Somethings happen and we went apart. I was dumb, WAS. If you could give me the chance to be with you again, I swear I would cherish it with all my heart.

I went to every website, trying to find a space where you're still active in. Livejournal. Your new diary of your life. I read all of your archives, hoping for my name to appear. If it does, I'll be glad cause you do still remember me and you still think of me. But, nothing. Good that you're happy now. I'll hope you've find the partner of your life. Happy advance birthday, Balqis.

"Senyummu enggan pergi
Tawamu mengiringi
Wajahmu ku terbayang
Hadirmu dalam mimpi
Umpama bidadari
Potretmu ku tatapi
Mengharap kau kembali
Memang ku rindu saat bersamamu
Memang tak mampu melupakanmu
Tapi ku tahu semua itu
Tak akan kembali lagi
Terima kasih aku ucapkan untuk percintaan ini."

To You;
Listen, you know you're a good friend. And I just want to be friends with you. I don't think I would want a girlf right now. Eventhough I sometimes said I'm a lonely soul standing in the middle of nowhere with none around me. But that sometimes is only just for awhile and its gone, cause I know I have friends around me. And I'm glad to know you. I turned that sad face of yours to something what you always wanted. That is what I always wanted. You've read my past, you knew what happen. I wouldn't want the same thing to happen. I can't trust you yet, cause we just knew each other. You are going things too fast. I felt this awkward feeling whenever you called me, 'baby' or 'babypartner'. I'm sorry I have to do this, cause I need to slow things down. I have other 4 people to contact. So I hope, we could contact not like everyday. Once in awhile, maybe? Once again, I'm sorry if I broke some part of your heart.

That Painful Feeling

I was checking my post when I found this post saved in my drafts. I knew this about a friend of mine but who was it? I can't remember who it was. But this was the last story telling I wrote since I was gone. But I don't think its completed.

He just stood there, shocked of what he had just heard. For all those while he waited for her, hoping for a miracle to happen, it all goes down the drain. All his efforts he had put for her, to impress her but she just couldn't see all of that. All he wish was him to be the perfect one for her.

"She's attached with another guy dude," I told him with sympathy. I tried my very best to change my words before I speak but it still seems too harsh for him. Even the best editors can't make it sounds much better.

That was the last words I told him when I met him last Friday. I needed to tell him what's going on in her life. I don't want him having high hopes for a girl that is not being truthful to others. I don't want him to be hurt by this simple lie. Cause he is one of my close-friends.

He confessed to her. He let out everything that is kept in his heart all those while. 1 year he had waited, 1 year he kept quiet. Her mouth were shut, ears were wide open. She could believe that he confessed to her again. The last time she got to know that he was in love with her was a year ago.

Hard Is The Name

Why does it have to be a longer route just to get to some place near? It was so clearly seen that I could have a better life but another party came crashing in. Now I know why hot girls are easy to find but hard to get. Not; hard to find, easy to get. I'm slowly trying to erase her from my mind but not my heart.

Sooner or later, there could be a war between them. One called police, switch stories making our name to be a disgrace. Even me, I was blamed for making a cousin to start smoking when I didn't even do a thing. We meant no harm, but this has gone too far. Court case? Let's see.

I had enough of this romours spreading around me. Why must their mouth have to bitch about me? What wrong had I exactly done to them? This is my year to shut a lot of people up.

I can't believe N'Level is coming in a few hours time. Biggest exam of my life. I have yet to study and I'm lazy to even open a book. Even if I do, my mind will wonder to other country. Friends? Do they even force me to study? Yes, they did. One or two even start to nag like their moms. But, they encourage me for just a day or two. Then they're of studying with someone else. What I mean is, I'm not studying for the sake of my friends. I am studying for my own, but I need someone to accompany me, teach me.

Live life to the fullest. I know, no link.

It Haunts Me Still

Guess who's back? Back again? Dan is back, tell your friends.

9th Sept is coming. I know I'm not suppose to post anything about this. But fcuk, my blog, my life. Problem, find me. It haunts me still and I can't get myself out of this situation. Someone help? No, I'm doing this on my own. I'm sure I can move on.

I've been lately MIA-ing from my friends. Sometimes I feel great being alone, but sometimes I fell different. I do missed them but I can't do anything about it. I'm having problems and I can't seem to solve it. Until it's solved, I'm back to normal life.

I missed my bestfriend. I missed my friend. I missed you.