I'm Sorry Dad.

I don't understand. What's the point of breaking up/divorce? Just because of a fight, it has to happen this way. Why can't it be settled by talking? Why do they fight? Why must they go? Why now? I just don't understand.

Me and my dad; eventhough our relationship doesn't seem so close, I still love him, I still treat him as my dad. I treated him bad since 2004. The year that I suffered most during my PSLE and it affected my studies. Now its happening again and next year is N'Levels. I want to my best for N'Levels, I want to go Poly or even better college. And I'm scared it will affect my studies.

I blog about this so that readers can show to their parents what I'm going through. I don't care if my cousins are reading this. Blogging is the only thing I can express my feelings.

You may think divorce is the best way. Well all I can say is, you're selfish motherfucking freaks living in the world that god create for us to love, not to hate each other and leave them. You only think of yourself. If you love your children, why do this? You think it won't affect them? Fucking yes, you can see your kids happy but they're crying inside. They'll miss the times they enjoy together with their family. I'm sure of it.

I'll miss dad. I'll miss the times we spent together as a family on Genting Highlands, our only vacation outside Singapore. I miss the times I had during my birthday. The last birthday gift I had from him was an organ/piano when I was primary 6. I understand he didn't gave me presents anymore cause he had credits to pay. I gave me a hug, which had been so long since I had from him. Tears can't stop rolling down my cheeks, even right now as I'm blogging. I just don't understand. Why must they tell me? Why? I had enough problems in my head and I don't need anymore.

Now these questions start appearing in my head. Who's going to pay for my school fees? Who's going to pay for my conssesion pass for traveling? Who's going to give me pocket money? Who's going to buy me school books?

I guess I had to find another work. Double work, double money.

I Know You Do Love Me

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." - by I don't know who.

Well, this qoute. It kinds of make me think of the bright side. No matter how many times bby told me that she don't love me, I still know that she does love me. Act malu-malu kucing pulak. If you want leave me, I don't mind but I'm scared though.

Anyways, today keje relax sungguh. I did the oiling at first when I came for work. Oil banyak-banyak skali. I did pizza today but I never do the topping! Banyak worr. Aku dah pandai! The dough's very soft. I had to pat the dough softly not to cause and tear in it. I cut the pizza. First time, kecoh siol. Mat motor ketawe kan. Nasib baik pizza aku sendiri untuk makan. Spoil sak aku cut, at last makan mcm gitu je.

When there's nothing to do, kite lepak kat Somerset. Not that Somerset. There's this dough machine at the back of the kitchen called 'Somerset'. Merepek sak Wahyudi. At last tidur situ. Terbaring kat situ. Sejuk sak. Nana woke us up and said, 'Oi, sedap eh tidur? Korang pikir ni rumah korang pe?'. Manager pun gerek.

Belajar motor! Went down to carpark with Wahyudi to smoke. Motor the lawa, putih lagi! Spark eh name die? Susah betul ah nak tau motor. Die punye modified lagi ah, horn die kuat nak mampos. Asked him lots of questions about bike. He paid instalment of $150/month for his bike. Murah sial. Aku nak! Terus boleh bawak chick aku jalan-jalan. Eh bby?

Anyways, tmr I'm working at 6pm. So I've got lots of time to pay back my sleep. At last! Ingatkan ade bola besok tapi takde. Waste time aku nak tanye manager je tau.

I miss you, Nur Atika binte Marjuki. Bile mau meet lagi? I can't meet you this week or next week. Abeh you can't go out sampai you leave Singapore on 18th December. Mcm mane mau jumpe sia? Maybe we meet after you balik k? I miss our late night calls. Aku jealous skrg. Semue orang ngah otp. Aku sorang je. Sedih siol. ): Ape nak buat? Dapat gaji je, top up! Tapi kene save some for bby's shoes.

Nights. Wanna sleep.
danialsayangtyqa™

Pizza Anyone?

First day of work dah fun giler. Mat motor gerek dok! I woke up as early as I can. Eyes were still heavy due to tiredness and just 3 hours of sleep. I left my house around 6.15am and I took my time to work cause I know I was too early. I skipped three 185 buses and still I arrived work place too early. Backdoor's locked and I just waited outside. Lame siol tunggu, from 7am - 8am. 1 hour of waiting. Quite worth it lah cause I won Intercontinential Championship. Tak perlu bilang siol.

First thing I did when I entered the kitchen, abang suruh tukar baju to uniform. Uniform lawa dok! Kalau nak tengok, turun Jurong East Swimming Complex k. How are you going to see me working when I'll be at the kitchen? If I'm on break pun, I'll be with mat motor kat carpark. So pandai2 carik aku eh?

Today I didn't get to learn how to make pizza. Shit you QA officers. Datang buat kecoh. Cannot here, cannot there. Command je korang eh. So tomorrow/today learning dough making, toppings tu semue tak yah. Complicated giler.

Anyways, I'm off to sleep. I'm still lacking of sleep.

danialsayangtyqa™; 25th

Happy Belated Birthday Tyqabby!

Happy birthday bby! I know now its 26th November but I hope its not too late to post it. I know my present for you is very cheap but my love for you very mahal tau. And I promise you that I'll buy something that will get you super happy. I know what you want. And I'll get it for you, I promise. You're the very first person that I truely, madly, deeply in love with. Ni semua tuhan dah plan. And I hope tuhan akan plan kite berdua happy untuk selama-lamanya. And I takot you akan tinggalkan I. Walau apapun, I akan sayang you. I akan tunggu untuk you eventhough you ngan kekasih lain. You're my everything, I love you so so so much Nur Atika binte Marjuki! 25/11; a date to remember.
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If you want to know what happen during Tyqa's birthday celebration, please kindly visit Tyqa's blog yourself. I am super tired to blog about it.

I'm Sorry

Seriously, I'm lost. No, I'm not. Yes, I am. I don't even know what fucking time and place to meet them in 12 hours time. I don't feel excited anymore. I don't feel the feeling I had in a weeks back. I don't have cash to go out. I'm simply broke. I did work for like 1 day but I have not get the payment yet. Its been like 1 week ago. Where's that fucking money?! What's the point of going out when you have no cash in your pockets, even no coins? Tell me! What? You expect me go around begging money? I'm not a beggar. I am seriously pissed off right now. I am super pissed off!!!! I'm pissed off cause my life is like this.

I see people around and I'll get jealous and sad. They have these smile in their faces. They got to eat different food each single day. Me, I eat the same thing over and over again. That's why I'm getting skinnier each day. I may look like a kid next door but I don't. You don't know the real Danial in the house. You don't know what I've been doing at home cause I didn't blog about it.

I woke up late again, at around 7pm. I opened the door and nobody's at home. Standard living. I'm better off living alone. Checked on the rice cooker. Fucking assholess. There's no rice, that means no food. There's no food around! I'm stuck at home, starving. I'm super pissed off right now. I'm off the limit already.

I guess that I'm not going tmr. If dad's not giving me money, then I rather stay at home, wait under bby's block or just wait outside the sentosa monorail gate. I don't want to use people's money. It's theirs, they work for it. I remember what mom used to say, 'Kaw miskin, so act miskin. Jangan nak act kaw anak orang kaye.'

Tired Because Of Fun

I'm currently not in the mood cause my iPod is giveing me trouble. Stupid shit. I felt like throwing away from the 10th storey. Wait, I can sell it. $150, anyone? I can sell it through ebay. Talking about ebay, I won the Haro Bike a week ago and I didn't even read the e-mail send by the ebay. I'm sure screwed up by the site.

Moving on. I went out with Nadia and Nadheera today. I woke up around 7.30am, which sooo freaking early cause I don't want to get myself late. I was suppose to meet Nadia at 11.30am so I watched tv, surf the net. Watched 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' on YouTube. Without YouTube, life would be boring, am I right? Look, right now bby's watching Corner With Love on YouTube.

I left my house around 11.20am, then I walked from my house to Boon Lay interchange cause Nadia said to meet at 11.50am so I take my own sweet time ah. When I reached Jurong East, I saw that pretty lady (next stop, Kembangan). Train-ed to Woodlands and walked around Causeway Point. Saw what we wanted to buy, tapi mahal sangat siol. Takpe lah, tunggu gaji aku. Nanti beli sebesar punye. We went to the arcade to just walk around but I found out that I had the card. I can play but I have to top up some money in. Played this game. Super annoying lah. Nadia fed up with that machine. Stupid money-sucker machine!

Train-ed to Chua Chu Kang to meet Nadheera. I keep telling Nadia to wear a skirt which really fits her. But she's so stuborn. Little kids doesn't know the taste of fashion, what to do? We sat and waited at McDonald's for that slow princess. Nadia felt bored for a moment and wanted to prank someone. So I gave Haqiz number, sorry babe! Prank maut siol, minahrep style. It took quite a long time for my to understand one word. I really hate those kind of broken english. Even if you're english isn't good, at least write like how to write during your exams.

eg. Aku tawq takot arh.

Dhendhen, eu leavee me alone.

Seriously, I can't stand all those msges. Its not that I hate minah lah but I just don't like the way they msg.

Anyways, we went to Vivo after Nadheera came. Such a long time since I ate that lemon chicken rice at Banquet. I even ate Nadheera's and Nadia's foods. Still hungry at that moment. We walk around to find something, but it's price was expensive and I don't think its that big. Then off to Bugis. Nadia wanted to buy a dress for 25th cause she was told to by her members. As soon as I see a dress, I told Nadia to buy this but she kept saying, 'Rimas'. Ape yang rimas sangat? Seriously Nadia, you look good in it. Anyways, we saw this dress which is nice but we went looking around to find nicer ones. Then Nadia wanted the previous one so we patah balik. Carik punye carik tak jumpe2, rupenye kedai tutup for awhile cause the shopowner nak makan. So we all went level 3 to wait. Camwhore!

I'm lazy to post what happen next. Read Nadia's blog if you want to. Die sexy tau korang! And jgn nak terpikat ngan die eh! Tu adik aku. Kaw nak die, give me you particulars. Hahaha. Merepek sak aku. Korang nak die, amek ah. Jgn bukan2 sudah eh.

Camwhore pictures. I know, my face. Hahaha.

Finally Work Came To Me

Yeepidie yey!
My mom woke me up around 11am. She said my uncle got a position for me at Pizza Hut. I felt grateful At last, I've got something to do rather than sleeping at home like a pig. I won't tell you where I would work cause I hate people spying on me while I'm working. Feels uncomfortable. But sooner or later you'll know cause the place is such a common place where people would visit.

Went for the interview and I got it. But there's somethings I need to do and bring. I have to photocopy both bank book and IC (both sides), buy black socks and shoes, go for this injection thingy but I went for it before and I forgot where I put the receipt. Gosh, I have to go for another one. I hate needles.

After the interview, I went to Haqiz house. Downloaded some songs to my iPod. I've got my iPod from 1/4 to 3/4 full of songs. Then went to Danish which is a few metres away from bby's house. I walked past her block when I went back home.
imy bby!

Tmr meeting Nadia! So long suckers!