Memang Khilafku

I'm fcuked up right now. Too much going inside my mind. I know, its my fault. Or was it really my fault? What did I do? I could not understand why. Adakah ini takdir Allah?

Clock struck 12am. What's the date today? 09/09/09. It could be already a year if I'm still with you. I swear I miss you. I purposely made 09/09/08 to be our date. Now, its just me standing facing a world alone. Every part of geylang is a memory of us. We break fast under the tree eating Ramli Burger. I swear I do miss those times. Somethings happen and we went apart. I was dumb, WAS. If you could give me the chance to be with you again, I swear I would cherish it with all my heart.

I went to every website, trying to find a space where you're still active in. Livejournal. Your new diary of your life. I read all of your archives, hoping for my name to appear. If it does, I'll be glad cause you do still remember me and you still think of me. But, nothing. Good that you're happy now. I'll hope you've find the partner of your life. Happy advance birthday, Balqis.

"Senyummu enggan pergi
Tawamu mengiringi
Wajahmu ku terbayang
Hadirmu dalam mimpi
Umpama bidadari
Potretmu ku tatapi
Mengharap kau kembali
Memang ku rindu saat bersamamu
Memang tak mampu melupakanmu
Tapi ku tahu semua itu
Tak akan kembali lagi
Terima kasih aku ucapkan untuk percintaan ini."

To You;
Listen, you know you're a good friend. And I just want to be friends with you. I don't think I would want a girlf right now. Eventhough I sometimes said I'm a lonely soul standing in the middle of nowhere with none around me. But that sometimes is only just for awhile and its gone, cause I know I have friends around me. And I'm glad to know you. I turned that sad face of yours to something what you always wanted. That is what I always wanted. You've read my past, you knew what happen. I wouldn't want the same thing to happen. I can't trust you yet, cause we just knew each other. You are going things too fast. I felt this awkward feeling whenever you called me, 'baby' or 'babypartner'. I'm sorry I have to do this, cause I need to slow things down. I have other 4 people to contact. So I hope, we could contact not like everyday. Once in awhile, maybe? Once again, I'm sorry if I broke some part of your heart.