Friday, August 5, 2011

Life's Cruelty

Yes, I am back. Cause there's no other way I could express my feelings to. I tried on twitter, but failed. I felt everyone's irritated with my tweets. And yes, eventhough you say "My tweet, my say", there's still people who'll get annoyed. Tumblr on the other hand. I can't express how exactly I feel. Tumblr is where I show my needs. What I want in life, mostly what kind of girls I do want. I'm not an asshole. I just want her to know that being skinny isn't a problem cause I really like skinny girls.

So, there's no way I really could tell my shits to. I've got nobody to rely on. No shoulders to lean on. Cause I can't trust anyone yet. I tried to have friends, treated them special. But I didn't get the same treatment. I felt lonely. I felt I was nobody to everyone, that includes my family.

Parents don't even know their son. They didn't know how I feel. Every time when I'm home, I'll be in my bed. Bottling up my problems, my feelings, my tears. They'll be watching TV with their favourite son and I'll be in my room talking to myself.

I had a girl who I loved all my heart out. After almost 2 years knowing each other, she left me last year for another guy. My world crushed. She was all I had. She went around with another guy while I'm in my room crying my heart out for months. The pain was unbearable. Till one night I told myself that its time to move on.

There she was, after 7 months waiting, she came back. And I open my heart for her. How could I forgot all the pain that she caused? I told myself, everybody makes a mistake and needs a second chance.

2 months later.

I was back to being alone. Nobody was beside me, not even her. Too busy with studies and friends while I'm here hoping to meet her everyday after work. No matter how tired I was, she's still my number 1. Things happen and it was over. She assumed that I had another. She made a fuss at twitter. And I was blamed for that. Because of this, I lost a lot of friends.

I realised everyone has this one person to talk to. I was born to be alone. Just like my dad. Perfect.

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