I Miss You So.

I have not even get a chance to close my eyes since yesterday. I worried, yes I am. God only knows. Had a serious talk with Rafi and Azhar this morning, and I'm taking precaution. Not that I don't trust her, just that I'm not going to lose this relationship that I really cherish so much. Be friends with anybody, I don't really mind. But note, even if I'm jealous, I understand that you need friends too. Never I had this kind of relationship that had lots of obstacles. We've gone through a lot and I'm not losing this. I love you v much.

Love is like a rope. You don't handle it well, you'll fall.

Everything New!

I'm gonna buy new deck, wheels, trucks and bearings. Everything new! Shoes? I have 3 skate shoes at home. Etnies, Vans and Adidas. I'm either choosing the Kingston RS or Kingston PJ deck, Thomas White trucks, Big B wheels and that bearings. Total cost $265. I'm gonna work my ass off to get that money. No matter what I'm buying that.

Today's 27th. My 1st month with baby. But we didn't do anything memorable, and I don't mind about that. One whole day was with my friends. But the next 27th, we're going out. Swensons? She likes that. I want a candlelight dinner, eat below the stars, near the beach. That's more romantic for sure. But where?

Syg, hanya kamu yang mampu berdiri di sisiku bila ku bersendirian. Menunjunkkan apa ertinya cinta. Memenuhi hatiku dengan penuh kasih sayang. Walaupun di dalam percintaan kami ada pergaduhan besar ataupun kecil, ku berjanji hanya kamu yang ku akan sayang sampai akhir waktu. Hatiku teruntuk kamu. Tak mau nangis ye. Sayang you banyakbanyak. I'm not perfect but I'll do the best I can to be perfect for your eyes, your heart and most importantly, your life. You're my one and only, the one that makes me crazy. I love you, swear i do.

As The Sunsets.

Spent a day with my girl at West Coast Park. We talked, watched the sunset. Finally I had time alone to show off the romantic side. If only the view is just the sea and the sun without those ship thingy, I would be so attracted to the sun's glare.

All of a sudden, the guy I once cried for came into my mind. And I almost shed tears again. The pain was still hard for me to contain. Baby gave me a hug and I felt better. I knew I will never be alone, even when I have no friends around me. All I need was her. We are the same, and we know that. We help friends, we care for friends but we get nothing.

"What are relationship for? Girlf can mean anything. It can be your lover, listening ear, adviser, mother to you, wife to you, a bestfriend etc."

I Care Less.

I thought going out with RC cliques yesterday would make me feel happy again. But the pain in my heart was too hard to handle. Tears almost fell. Where were my friends? Where was Diana, where was Nadia, where was Izham, where was everyone? These people were the ones so-called-close to me. Not a single person came asking about my life now, not even anyone cared about me. I now understand. Its in the genes. My family were made to be lonely. Don't come to me and say sorry. Cause its not your fault.

I'm always the odd one out. It's like I'm always the last one on people's mind. Sad though but I'm containing myself. Never cry for friends anymore. I wasted tears for you. My life now is just me, family and Erna.

Air mata sudah tiada,

Namun luka smakin berdarah.

Di manakah rasa kasihan,

Adakah hilang nafsu badan?

Everything Has Changed.

From my point of view, everything has changed. Compare life then and now, it does changed. I no longer have a bestfriend or closefriend that I could talk to when I'm down. Everyone had left me all by myself. Don't even think that its because of my status now. Even when I'm single, I'm the lonely guy walking aroung Jurong all alone when I needed someone to talk to. Nobody knows who I really am.

I used to have a friend who I once ever cry on his shoulder because I knew I was a freak last time. But now, he's too busy studying, hanging around with his schoolmates rather than to know how my life has been. When I'm in school, I'm doing my own things. Straight after school, I'll be alone smoking at RC and then leave just as soon as I'm done with smoking. He thinks I'm busy with my skate and my girl now. Maybe, everyone thinks the same way too. Well, truthfully, I made myself busy cause I'm always by myself alone and I couldn't take the pain of being alone. See, nobody knows who I really am. If you say I'm your bestfriend, shame on you. Cause now, I have nobody other than my girl.

You see baby. I have nobody by my side. Its only you. And if you leave, I'm nothing. I'm sorry. I swear I love you. Don't leave me please.

Hari Berganti Hari.

Every night, after busy thinking about how it started, I'll always be smiling to myself. Picturing back to the first time I met her, the time we played soccer together and now holding each other's hands tightly. Its like a fairytale which you think would never happen, but it did. She's the first for almost everything. She was the first girlf that we laugh till our stomach felt the bursting sensation just because of our stupid little super lame jokes/craps. She was the first open-minded girlf. There's so much more of her that when we were to split up, there's so much memory of our love. Every breath I took, I could smell you.

I know that I can't see you as often as I like, I know that I can't have you in my arms through the night. But, deeply in my heart, I know that no matter how far we are, we know that we're close in our hearts. I love you baby! -Nur Erna Kuzirah

I'm the moon when you're the star that surrounds all over me. Your love is pure and never-ending. Your kiss is like a comet hitting the moon which leaves a mark on my heart. I love you always! -Danny Sheckler

That's the longest she can give. Cute kan?

Ohh La.

Yesyes. I've got back my cyberlife back again. I miss chatting online till late nights. I miss certain people, especially my bestfriend. ):

My N had ended on Thursday. I'm free from school now! I have to find work though, I've got to taste hard life which is about to happen in a few years time. Gosh, time is precious. It seems like its getting faster everyday. Stop thinking, start living.

Slowly and slowly, I'm losing more and more friends. Sometimes I like being alone, but I love when there's company. I no longer have a friend to talk to when I'm down. I no longer have a friend to lean on. I no longer have a friend to laugh with. Without baby, I don't know how life would be. And I'm glad I have a bestfriend whom I called my girlf.

Life has been better ever since she came. My nights had been easier for me to sleep well. We fought, I smiled. The way she gets excuses to find a way to start a fight is just simply cute. I can't describe the feeling I had for her, I don't know how to show her how much she meant to me. All I could think of was just a kiss on the cheek and whisper to her the 3 simple words that has a heavy meaning to it. I still think that was not enough. I have to show more, but how?

I love the way she took out her small little tongue.

I swear I love you; 270909

I Smell Blood

I heard you talked bad behind my back. I never did about you. Said that I'm always busy with Girlf and my skate. Well, I'm always busy because I'm bored. I'm bored because you didn't care. I ran away from Pondok because I was invincible. When was the last time you asked me to go Pondok? Hmm, idnk. Heart pain, eyes boils. If not for Naz, you'll be kissing my shoe. Great, now you've talked bad, I'll be gone. You'll only see me when Naz is around. Take care.

To who? Sapesape uh yang terasa.

I'll Miss You Badly

Birthday was such a bore. Well truthfully, every year is sure a bore. I was woken up at 7am with a cake and candles lighted up in front of my face. My parents and my brother got the wrong timing cause I was super sleepy, and I didn't not get a good look at the cake. But well, good effort btw. I skated at Queenstown alone in the morning and then off to RC outside school just to cool off. Suprisingly, almost everyone knew my birthday. Relax for awhile and then off to Clementi. This is not an offence but, it seems like Pondok is getting boring everytime I come. Is it because of the National Exams or everyone has gone different ways? Only God knows. So I went to JRC and found out nobody was there. Minutes later Girlf came first then the rest. Girlf went to JP with my cousin and came back with a 'bolster' with has a perfume smell. Mane tah drg angkut tu perfume. So that is how boring m birthday is. If anybody asked me out on my birthday and made a suprise, I'll be super duper shock. Hmm.

I'll miss you Naz. The only friend that touches my heart with every word he said. I cry.

The Extreme Skateboarding

I am so jealous. I was stuck on watching almost all of the skating videos posted on YouTube for about 3 hours and I get the steps of doing tricks but I scared of doing it. Yeah, scared. Time to fear nothing. I might be going Queenstown or just streetskating. Lets try kickflip or 180 tomorrow.