I'm Sorry Dad.

I don't understand. What's the point of breaking up/divorce? Just because of a fight, it has to happen this way. Why can't it be settled by talking? Why do they fight? Why must they go? Why now? I just don't understand.

Me and my dad; eventhough our relationship doesn't seem so close, I still love him, I still treat him as my dad. I treated him bad since 2004. The year that I suffered most during my PSLE and it affected my studies. Now its happening again and next year is N'Levels. I want to my best for N'Levels, I want to go Poly or even better college. And I'm scared it will affect my studies.

I blog about this so that readers can show to their parents what I'm going through. I don't care if my cousins are reading this. Blogging is the only thing I can express my feelings.

You may think divorce is the best way. Well all I can say is, you're selfish motherfucking freaks living in the world that god create for us to love, not to hate each other and leave them. You only think of yourself. If you love your children, why do this? You think it won't affect them? Fucking yes, you can see your kids happy but they're crying inside. They'll miss the times they enjoy together with their family. I'm sure of it.

I'll miss dad. I'll miss the times we spent together as a family on Genting Highlands, our only vacation outside Singapore. I miss the times I had during my birthday. The last birthday gift I had from him was an organ/piano when I was primary 6. I understand he didn't gave me presents anymore cause he had credits to pay. I gave me a hug, which had been so long since I had from him. Tears can't stop rolling down my cheeks, even right now as I'm blogging. I just don't understand. Why must they tell me? Why? I had enough problems in my head and I don't need anymore.

Now these questions start appearing in my head. Who's going to pay for my school fees? Who's going to pay for my conssesion pass for traveling? Who's going to give me pocket money? Who's going to buy me school books?

I guess I had to find another work. Double work, double money.